Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Arise Sir Jedi

Even though my prospects are vanishingly small, I have recently been contemplating what to call myself if I am ever given a Knighthood. Apparently Harry Secombe chose ‘Sir Cumference’ as his title.

So far I’ve been toying with ‘Sir Cumcision’, or perhaps ‘Sir Hansirhan’. Maybe I’ll just go with ‘Sir Stu of Stu’.

What do you think?

I’ve also been thinking about possible Jedi names. I realise that my chances of becoming a Jedi are practically nil because I am “…too old. Too old to begin the training”, but the Jedi council may change the rules and it is as well to be prepared.

If I were ever to become a Jedi I would probably have to be ‘Stubee Too Kenubee’ or maybe ‘Ingy Bing Flamingy’. Views?

The thought occurs that, whilst the likes of Milli Vanilli and Scritti Politi are already pretty much sorted with their Jedi names, the likes of Stirling Moss and Richard Briars have really got their work cut out. On the other hand, Engelbert Humperdink could just be ‘Berti Hump Erdinki’.

Tying these two subjects together poses the further thought: If a Jedi apprentice was ever given a Knighthood, would he automatically become a Jedi Knight without having to complete his training?

If any of you have been thinking about your noble titles or Jedi names, feel free to post your ideas.

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