Monday, December 26, 2005

Oh well

Oh well, all over for another year. Here's some pictures of The Joe on Christmas morning.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Friday, December 16, 2005


For all you budding novelists and short story writers out there, check out this site. It sounds quite interesting.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Arise Sir Jedi

Even though my prospects are vanishingly small, I have recently been contemplating what to call myself if I am ever given a Knighthood. Apparently Harry Secombe chose ‘Sir Cumference’ as his title.

So far I’ve been toying with ‘Sir Cumcision’, or perhaps ‘Sir Hansirhan’. Maybe I’ll just go with ‘Sir Stu of Stu’.

What do you think?

I’ve also been thinking about possible Jedi names. I realise that my chances of becoming a Jedi are practically nil because I am “…too old. Too old to begin the training”, but the Jedi council may change the rules and it is as well to be prepared.

If I were ever to become a Jedi I would probably have to be ‘Stubee Too Kenubee’ or maybe ‘Ingy Bing Flamingy’. Views?

The thought occurs that, whilst the likes of Milli Vanilli and Scritti Politi are already pretty much sorted with their Jedi names, the likes of Stirling Moss and Richard Briars have really got their work cut out. On the other hand, Engelbert Humperdink could just be ‘Berti Hump Erdinki’.

Tying these two subjects together poses the further thought: If a Jedi apprentice was ever given a Knighthood, would he automatically become a Jedi Knight without having to complete his training?

If any of you have been thinking about your noble titles or Jedi names, feel free to post your ideas.

Save the antelope

Take a look at this, it is quite amusing.

Monday, December 05, 2005

The Red Hots

White heat is screaming in the jungle
Complete the motion if you stumble
Go ask the dust for any answers
Come back strong with 50 belly dancers
That was an excerpt from the Red Hot Chili Peppers song - Can't Stop.
I have no idea what it means, but if you ever need cheering up, listen to this song.
It is quite possibly the crowning achievement of human endeavor...

...well I like it anyway.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Is he so wrong? Yup I think he is.

Occasionally, when I'm bored, I click on the "Next Blog" button on the Blogger toolbar and browse the recently updated blogs in search of something interesting. Recently I stumbled across one entitled "Am i so wrong". Now, I'm not normally a stickler for ethics and morals but every once in a while I'll come across someone who really gets on by wick. The author of this particular blog has decided, like many of us, to use his blog as a kind of virtual soap box. A place where he can empty his mind of life's little niggles or post an open question or observational nugget. Most of the time people who do this appear honest and the things that they post are seem to be original works. This dickhead, however, is different.
He has blatantly plagiarised the rantings of the late comedian Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks was possibly the most talented stand up comedian since Lenny Bruce. His insightful and intelligent observations were delivered in a unique, self styled tirade from the age of about 14 to about 34 when he sadly past away.
As you can probably tell Mr Hicks is something of a hero of mine, and yes, I often quote segments of his routine, and no, I probably don't give him credit every time I repeat one of his comments. That’s fair enough I think. If one were to constantly credit the author of every humorous titbit, then they would end up doing very little else. However, if you are challenged as to whether or not the comment was your own or a quote from someone else, I think that honesty is the only option.
My problem with the author of "Am i so wrong" is that when I posted a comment on his site, jokingly making reference to Bill Hicks, he deleted it. The words pussy and moron spring to mind. In reponse to his question: Am I so wrong? the answer would have to be: Yes, I think you probably are.
Obviously I would not advise that anyone else visit this site and post a similar comment to mine, but if you really must, then I cannot stop you.

Oh, I almost forgot. Reading between the lines, it appears that he's lousy in bed as well.

That's all for now.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Testing the water

I’m not sure what kind of reaction (if any) this post is set to receive but here goes nothing:
I started to try and read the Bible again the other day (note the cautious and respectful use of capitalisation). Bust my testes if it doesn’t read like the ramblings of a mad old pensioner. It’s like being inside the mind of a maniac.
Granted, it is thousands of years old and was originally written in another language, so the sense of the prose may have suffered with age and translation. I’ll try and soldier on with it for a while though, in the hope that the style will settle down a bit during the first few books. I’m resisting the urge to peek at the end but I’m pretty sure that the devil did it.
Needless to say, I already have a fair few questions. I’m sure I can get some sensible answers from my fellow bloggers (no time wasters please) so I intend to frame these questions in the form of posts over the coming weeks. If you yourself have just started to read the Bible, you may wish to skip these posts. Spoilers abound.
Now, I know that some of you will be reading this and thinking, “Oh yes, very funny. He’s just trying to be witty and clever and it’s just not working”. I should point out that my apparent irreverence is just that – apparent. I’m not a religious fellow but I am genuinely interested in religious philosophy and I promise that the questions posed in subsequent posts will be serious ones. I will probably publish them in my "Ramblings" blog. Keep an eye out for them. I hope they will appeal to most tastes. Tears, laughter. Something for everybody.
Anyway, that’s enough for now. I had better go and strap myself in and resume the teachings of the Good Book. “In the beginning there was hatstand. Bottom fish banana..."

Sunday, November 27, 2005


I have decided to create a new blog, solely for the purposes of talking bollocks. It can be found here.

Coming soon...

As the festive season is almost upon us, I thought now might be a good time for some lively religious debate. Watch this space...

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Friday, November 25, 2005

A lot of f*@king digging

Hello again. Well, well, well, where to start? I guess that one of the biggest things going on with me at the moment is the work I'm doing on my house, or rather, my garden. I have posted a few pictures here. There's still a lot more to do. We're hoping to have a new driveway finished in the new year and at the moment the priority is to get everything fenced in and secure so that our son can play safely in the garden this summer. I'll probably post some more pictures soon.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


Hello fellows. I'm very new at this. My brother has had a blog for some time now, so I thought that it was high time I did the same. If anyone has any tips or words of encouragement I be grateful for your comments. I'm not exactly sure what I want to say on this blog, now that I have created it I seem to have writers block. I had better go off and be creative. Watch this space.